I DIDN'T watch every minute of Benefits Britain: Life On The Dole because I was so angry I feared the onset of a minor coronary. Blood pressure? Mine was fairly fizzing through my arteries.
And hey, we don't want another heart attack in Hull do we? Everyone knows Hull is the unhealthiest place on earth, where everyone is obese and either on a mobility scooter or receiving incapacity benefit.
Strangely enough, a glance at the website for the Office for National Statistics (ONS) will tell you 37 per cent of Hull's citizens are in "good health".
The national average is only 34 per cent but the media do not want you to know this – never let the facts get in the way of a thoroughly biased story.
Where was I? Oh yes, I took a deep breath and switched channels and a game of rugby was on Sky Sports.
Much more entertaining and it gave me pause for thought – Hull is the only city in the UK that boasts two Super League teams. Not bad for a place with nothing to shout about, eh?
It was an enthralling game but all good things come to an end so I switched off the TV.
It's a nice telly – one of those fancy ones with an LCD screen. I reflected that this technology would not even exist but for a series of ground-breaking discoveries made at the University of Hull in the 1970s.
Not a bad place to learn, that university. I am sure that a chap Jeremy Darroch would agree with me.
He graduated in Hull and is now the CEO of BSkyB. Mind you, his salary of £7m is dwarfed by the £20m annual pay cheque being pocketed by Muhtar Kent, the CEO of Coca-Cola. By the way, Muhtar graduated from Hull as well.
Impressive facts for a little northern fishing town that doesn't have fishing any more.
And talking of education, we all know Hull is bottom of every league table that matters. How do we know? Because the media tells us.
But the media forgets to mention the children of Hull who receive free school meals perform way above the national average for that category when it comes to GCSE results.
Ah, but, I can hear some of our southern friends say, those GCSE passes count for nothing when the crunch comes and it's time to get a job – everyone knows the few people in Hull who actually work do so in low-paid, menial jobs.
Seriously? The ONS buries that myth as well – 14 per cent of all workers in Hull are skilled tradesmen.
I feel a little smug when I tell you the national average is just 11.4 per cent.
In the mood for some music to lighten my mood, my fingers flicked leisurely through my CD collection. Now, what should I put on? Maybe It's Only Money by Roland Gift, a prodigiously talented musical son of Hull. Or maybe Eden by Everything But The Girl, a fabulous duo formed at Hull University.
That place again, eh? But I finally decided on the Housemartins. But which album to play? Yes, that's the one – London 0 Hull 4. Says it all, really.
