Blimey, it's getting easier to join the police these days.
Once upon a time to become a fully paid-up member of her majesty's plod, you had to undergo exhaustive selection rounds, aptitude tests and exhausting physicals.
Then, and only then, were you deemed worthy of becoming part of the thin blue line that keeps us from falling into anarchy and sitting on Friday night drunks outside Yates's until reinforcement arrived.
That was then. Now, if you want to be a deputy chief constable at Humberside Police the first thing you've got to do is email, and I'm quoting here, "a new year selfie" to the force to get the recruitment ball rolling.
That's right. They want the potential next deputy chief constable of our region's esteemed police force to email in a selfie.
Presumably to weed out any mingers early doors.
And a new year selfie? Does that mean they want pictures of would-be senior officers doing the conga around their local pub at the stroke of midnight? Or perhaps slumped in a corner after one too many tequila slammers around at Justine Curran's Hogmanay house party.
Anyway, if it's that easy, I thought I'd have a go. I mean, why not?
I'd happily send them a full-frontal nude for the £117k pay packet.
So here it is. My selfie. Please consider me in the running.
If you'll notice, I've gone the extra mile by recreating the look I'd adopt as Humberside's newest senior officer – while also trying to adopt that New Year "I've been on a bender for a whole week and am really starting to struggle" vibe.
Fingers crossed. Steady as you go now. Move along, please.
• Humberside Police selfie job advert 'not an example to follow' – employment lawyer
