WHEN sitting on the sidelines at Headingley on the opening night of the season, Hull FC's big new signing Gareth Ellis was racked with worry.
Having limped off the field in the warm-up ahead of his long-awaited debut, his fear was not that he might miss the opening weeks of the season, but that perhaps his career was over.
Having worked tirelessly to overcome a broken bone in his foot which ruined his last season in the NRL with Wests Tigers, it was a devastating start to the 31-year-old's three-year deal at FC.
Awaiting the results of a scan yesterday which could give him the green light to return before the end of the month, Ellis admits it has been a difficult journey since that fateful February night.
"Firstly I just felt like I let people down, but then I was thinking I'd done an exact repeat of last year, I was fearing for my career really," Ellis admitted.
"Having gone through so much to get back last year and then being back to square one was tough.
"Fortunately, it wasn't as severe as last year, and I'm on the road way to recovery now."
The ultimate professional, Ellis has done all he can to be back as soon as he can, and has researched the injury closely to ensure he has managed his rehabilitation to perfection.
Twelve weeks was the initial estimate placed on his absence, and he could return slightly ahead of schedule.
However, he is both cautious and anxious about his return – and insists he won't play until all are confident he is ready.
"I've been reading up and researching it on the internet and speaking to other people who have had similar injuries," he said.
"It's a very fragile fracture. It's only a small bone but it can cause a lot of problems and the re-fracture rate is very high. That's why I want to make sure it's right.
"The disappointing thing was if it had been the first couple of games back from last time (in NRL) and it went then, then I'd have accepted it, as that was what they told me could happen.
"But the fact that I'd played eight games for Wests, done all the full pre-season here, had two trial games only for it to happen at that moment was the disappointment. But that's the way it goes."
The news of the scan will be nervously waited upon not just by Ellis, but by all at Hull FC, hoping it will bring clarity to when he can finally make his debut.
Some feel it could come as early as their Challenge Cup tie with North Wales Crusaders in a little over a week's time, and Ellis is not ruling that out.
"It's within my sights, but it's hard to put an actual date on it. It wouldn't surprise me if that was the date, but if it's a couple of weeks after, so be it," he said.
"This is my nine week scan. That is a big thing. There'll be a nervous wait for the results, but I just want to see some improvement.
"My last was at six weeks and I want to see if there's some signs of healing."
For now, Ellis can only do what he has since limping off at Leeds and focus on building his strength, whilst taking expert advice.
"I'm pretty lucky as I am using an anti-gravity treadmill every other morning at Hull City's training ground," he said.
"I'm just stepping the intensity up every other day. It's a matter of running on that, seeing how I wake up the next day and if anything is sore or if anything is bothering me. If not, let's go up again.
"I'm going down there increasing the weight I'm on and slowly creeping up to body-weight running.
"It's about making sure I tick all the boxes. The closer it's getting the more eager I'm getting, but also the more nervous.
"So far I've not had any problems. I'm on schedule and I'm putting it under a little bit more pressure every other day and seeing where I am at.
"I'm really anxious about playing and it's important I tick all the boxes so I know that when I do come to playing, I know I've done everything possible to make sure I'm right when it comes to actually doing that.
"I won't know until I've pushed myself, but I'm in the hands of the physio staff and the specialists.
"I can tell them 'I'm right, I'm right, I'm right' but at the end of the day they know when I'm right, what will be safe and what's best for the club as well.
"When I come back, I want to be back for good.
"I'm quite happy to be in their hands. I've got to be honest and hopefully it will all go to plan."
